Finding the old me

I went to the Doctor's office today and to my dismay, had to face the reality of my weight gain that I have tried to avoid for a while now. Truth of the matter is, I know I have put on a few pounds, but I have been avoiding stepping on that scale to find out just how many a "few" actually was. It got me thinking as I waited in the room for half hour (because we all know how fast a doctor visit is).

With nothing to do, I sat and looked and my nails and twiddled my thumbs. It struck me that I haven't really paid attention to myself in a really long time. What happened to me over the past year or so? When at one point in my life, I went to the gym on a daily basis and always had polished hands and feet, I was disgusted to realize how unkempt I have become. It got me wondering when exactly did I forget about myself?

Maybe I got caught up with school and work. But those are always the first excuses. Is there really an excuse for forgetting to remember yourself? For a long time, my focus has just been school...work...success. However, I think I need to start making myself a priority again. After all, no one else is going to do it for me. Perhaps I will finally take my boyfriend's advice and get my lazy behind up to run in the afternoons. It's all baby steps. But I am determined to get there.

Keeping Up

So after being encouraged by my favorite friend, Leeana, I have decided to start back keeping up with my blog on a regular basis. I figure it will give me something to do in between applying for jobs and to pass the time until the day I can finally say I am leaving Miami. Not that I wont continue blogging once I move. But until then, I might as well share the "excitements" of my day with anyone who cares to take the time to read. Maybe I will even take the time to make my blog "pretty" as Leeana would say. We shall see. In any case, I'm back! :)

Closing the Door

I'm graduating on Saturday!!! WOHOO! :)

I can't find the words to explain the pounds that have been shed off my shoulders after finals and senior show. ALL DONE! Cant wait till Saturday.

Now find me a job!

Worried

As I read the news articles everyday, I am becoming increasingly worried about my future. Dreams that were once almost in my reach seem less of a reality now. I have become less optimistic about being able to move and find a job in Atlanta. What should have been a great opportunity, is diminishing before my eyes.

As the economy gets worse, I am still lucky to have my job. But I dare to want more. More than a part time position with no benefits. I worry that my dreams of grad school and moving will have to be put on hold. Goals I have set are becoming even more difficult to attain. It makes me wonder, will I ever be able to overcome the odds and still pursue my dreams? I sincerely hope so.

Quick Fixes

Why is it that people are always looking for a quick solution to a problem? Whether it's having that quick smoke or taking a sip from that bottle... how does it really help what the underlying cause of the issue is? Is it that we have gotten to used to all of the conveniences of life that makes us expect life's problems to be fixed automatically? Have we lost patience to take the time to deal with things to learn whatever valuable could come from it? Or is it that we expect everyone else to fix things for us and pick up the pieces when things go wrong?

Perhaps it is just that misery loves company so we feel we need to drag others into our problems.. Perhaps we are just too caught up with daily life to really stop and look at the bigger picture..

Maybe we should all take a breathe and take a look around.

Taboo

I have often wondered why a woman's sexuality is taboo. I never understood why is it, that if a woman is sexually independent, she is automatically considered a whore. What makes a woman who is pure any better than another woman who has had experience? Why is it that if she gives it up on the first date, there is the stereotype that she is not wife material. What is the correlation between how long a woman can hold back that determines how long a relationship will last? In todays society where a woman's sexuality is more out of the box than ever before, why are there still both men and women who consider it such a taboo subject? How come it is acceptable for a man to sleep around but not acceptable for a woman? What does gender really have to do with it? When in actuality is just about self control and moderation. I am in no way saying that I believe it is ok to go sleep around with anyone and everyone. While boundaries should be respected, a person's sexuality should not be limited based on others perceptions when it is just a part of human nature. I think that its about time that stereotypes need to be broken.

Fear..

Does the fear of being hurt or cheated on ever go away once one is wounded? What does it take for someone to feel secure? Is it even possible?